No one ever told me

*This is a picture from our very first ultrasound back in January. It feels like it was only a few weeks ago. The baby is so tiny here.

P.S. The head is at the bottom and those flipper things are arms. *

People had told me that is was pretty amazing when the baby moved inside of you, but they never told me that I would be sitting here in the living room for a 1/2 hour just staring at my tummy and waiting for it to happen again. They never told me that when the baby had hiccups at night, I would lie awake for over an hour to feel them and how excited it would make me. There is a real person in there and it's only a short time before they get to come out and become part of the family. When we lost our 1st baby last year, we were devastated. Sometimes I still am. Andy gave me a card on that baby's due date and I am so grateful to him for articulating exactly what I was feeling. (12-04-05) "Sarah, It seems like life has kind of been like this for a while now. I hope and pray that it won't be too much longer. Every month brings new hope. Losing our baby is the saddest thing we have been through. I am so sorry that we had to go through this. It really is as hard as it seems to move on. I know that there will be years and years of us being parents, but I just wish those years could have started right now. I am looking forward to that time that will give us new names as Mom and Dad. I love you, Andy" We didn't know for a few more weeks, but I got pregnant that month. I had made a goal of being pregnant again by our due date, but God needed me to get past that deadline and just let go of control. I am still struggling with the control issue. I am glad the baby has become more active because that helps me to worry less. I do still worry, but mostly I am just so excited to meet whoever is in there that I wonder how I'm supposed to get anything done around here! I guess we just have to take it one day at a time. By the way, Andy is gone on a camping trip with his students until Saturday, so I plan on doing a whole lot of nothing today and then being more productive tomorrow. We'll see....