... but you can't take the 'Ham out of the Lewis: As the milk flows.....so do the emotions

... but you can't take the 'Ham out of the Lewis

What's going on up here anyhow?

Sunday, January 20, 2008

As the milk flows.....so do the emotions

Jim, Michelle, Deryck, and Ashley were able to come and see Penelope today. This is the best we could do to get 4 kids to look at the camera and/or smile. They're pretty cute, right?






Ann came by to check on Penny and me this afternoon. My minor tear is healing perfectly and Penny hasn't lost much weight since she was born (she's about 7 lbs. 2 oz. now). Ann mentioned to Andy that my milk would be coming in soon and that sometimes women become teary and emotional more easily during this very hormonal couple of days. She didn't assume I would have any huge problems (i.e. postpartum depression), but she told Andy that my stress should be minimized and just to take good care of me. He always does. This afternoon I noticed that Penny had drips of milk on her face after eating. The milk is here! It is so satisfying to know that I am feeding her from my body and that there is actually food in there to eat now! She has been peaceful, sleepy, and satisfied.




This evening I took a bath with some wonderful herbs in it and just took some time to myself for resting, reading, and letting my body work on healing. Theo was desperate to get into the bath with me, but Andy felt I (and my slightly torn body) deserved a soak alone. Theo finally went and played with his toys and I sat in the tub for a while. After I was done, Theo was still very eager to see me. I needed to get dressed and he wanted none of that. I dressed quickly (in my new nursing PJs that Andy got me for Christmas....so pretty and comfortable) and went to hold Theo for a while. Gross.....he had pooped (for about the 4th time today!) and it was up his back a little bit. I went to change him, but Sandy and Andy gave me Penelope instead and started wrangling the boy. It is impossible for me to hear him cry and not feel guilty that I can't attend to him only. My heart has grown in capacity for love for both of my kids, but I sometimes do feel badly for Theo when I feel that he "needs" me and I'm not available. Sandy plopped him in the tub while he screamed, he refused to sit down, and I stood in the bedroom holding Penny and crying. I just felt like a bad mom. Why don't I have more arms??? more speed???? more ability??? Andy came into the room with me and worked his magic like only he can. I am so blessed to have him. He reminded me that I am not the answer to all that ails Theo. If Penny weren't here, I would be in the bathroom with him....bathing him standing up while he screamed at ME! He wasn't mad at me, he was just mad. All that Andy said made me laugh and realize how right he was. Minutes later, Theo was happily sitting in the tub playing with his toys (even after all of the bath water had gone down the drain) and even happily put on his diaper and PJs while Andy and Sandy sang a rousing rendition of "The Ants Go Marching 1 by 1". A peaceful end to a very short, but tense moment.




Penny is in the co-sleeper snoozing and I'm just about to brush my teeth and go join her in bed. 8:45pm seems like just the right time to head to sleep tonight. Ann was right. The milk and the emotions are flowing....most of them sweet, tender and thankful.




Thank you Lord for this opportunity to love my growing family and be loved by them. Thank you for this man to help carry me through the changes and for my son who continually shows me he loves me and that he can also be loved by others in my absense. Thank you, too, for our new little girl and the peace she radiates as she rests in our arms. What a day!

2 Comments:

At 6:37 AM, January 21, 2008 , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Very nice thoughts.
I was thinking of Theo and his 'discharge,' does it resemble "quakers? or Cheetos? or Cheeeerios?? or "chololate chip cookies?" .... that boy was non-stop snackville yesterday!!!
Glad to hear Penny is 'snacking' now on momma milk! Well it is "M-i-LK" day...
GdadDoug

 
At 10:15 AM, January 21, 2008 , Blogger mamamilkers said...

Oh yes, mama, welcome to the world of mothering more than one! You will always wish you had more hands. You all have a big adjustment to make!

Just take it easy on yourselves.

Many hugs!!!

 

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